Important Practical Life Skills for Kids by Age
Let’s talk about age-appropriate practical life skills for kids. It seems like such an easy thing — installing our kids with skills they need to be successful — but in real life, it's much, much tricker.
Do you find yourself regularly feeding your 3-year-old? What about putting shoes on your 5-year-old or cleaning up after your 7-year-old?
Sometimes we just get into automatic mode, doing these things without thinking because we’ve done them for our children for so long. (Babies need everything from us. But then babies grow up!)
Or perhaps we think it will be easier, faster, cleaner, if we just do it ourselves. (And we'd be right!)
But when we do everything for our children, we also do them a serious disservice. Not only do we rob them of their autonomy — that is, control over their body, their space, and their choices — we also fail to nurture important practical life skills.
We want our little ones to be able to help tidy up, to make their own meals, to understand money and budgeting, etc., especially because, one say, they are going to be in charge of their own household.
I hate to say it, and I’m not one to make generalizations across gender lines, but I do think boys are very often “excused” from developing certain practical life skills. Just ask the wives of today. Thankfully, I also think times are changing.
Let's Nurture Helpers and, in turn, Doers!
So let’s empower each and every one of our children so that they can learn practical life skills.
We can start early by talking to them when they are teeny tiny, playdoughy babies. Ask them questions, explain what you’re doing, invite them to participate in the day-to-day, even if they cannot speak or walk! You’re setting them up for responsive, inquisitive behaviors and interactions.
From there, start to solicit their help when they get a bit older.
Children are natural helpers. They WANT to help.
Don’t shut them down just because it will be faster for you to vacuum by yourself, or it will be less messy if it’s just you making dinner. When we reject our child’s help, we start to dampen their innate inclination to be helpful. This, in turn, starts to instill in them a sense of helplessness.
Suddenly, they don’t want to help.
Suddenly, they don’t feel equipped to clean up after painting.
Suddenly, they don’t feel equipped to get dressed by themselves.
Suddenly, they don’t feel equipped to make a sandwich.
Ever. Not at 5, 10, or, dear lord, 35.
OK, so talk to me about what I can generally expect my child to be able to handle based on their age.
Age-Appropriate Practical Life Skills for Kids
As we know, children aren’t robots. They all develop — physically, cognitively, emotionally — according to their own beautiful, unique timelines.
If your child is showing you that they’re clearly not ready for something, don’t push it aggressively. You can introduce concepts (see, this is how I tuck in your sheet, can you take this corner…?) instead of demanding that they go do the whole kit and caboodle themselves.
Life Skills for Preschoolers, Ages 2 to 3
Preschoolers are some of my favorite people, and these life skills for preschoolers are some of the first life skills our little buddies manage independently.
Put their toys back in the basket
Bring you the broom, a book, a cup from the drawer, etc., upon request (as long as they can safely access the item)
Put trash in trash can
Put dirty clothes in hamper
Wash their hands
Bring their plates to the sink
Help set the table
Put clothes into the washer or dryer (as long as they can safely reach!)
Brush their teeth and comb their hair (with some assistance)
Put on velcro shoes (this is more in a 3-year-olds realm)
Life Skills for 4- and 5-year-olds
Choose their clothes and get dressed
Brush their teeth and comb their hair (with very little assistance)
Know their full name, birthday, and address
Know how to call 911 when there’s an emergency
Understand the basics of how money works and why it’s used
Learn to swim
Help with cooking
Help take care of pets
Life Skills for 6- and 7-year-olds
Tie their shoes
Know the phone number of one of their caregivers
Make their bed
Put the groceries away
Prepare a basic meal that requires no cooking, such as a bowl of cereal or a sandwich (loving the ideas here and here)
Pack a lunch
Help sort the laundry
Bathe without much help
Sweep the floor
Help weed the garden or rake leaves
Life Skills for 8- and 9-year-olds
Count money and make change
Answer the telephone / make a telephone call
Take out the trash
Fold and put away their clothes
Read, follow, and make a simple recipe, like yogurt parfait or tuna melts
Clean up their room properly
Vacuum and mop the floor
Practical Life Skills for Kids by Age: In Sum
To sum up, when we start doing everything for our kids, we:
- Foster feelings of helplessness
- Dampen their innate helpfulness
- Get in the way of their autonomy to make decisions about their bodies, environment, etc.
- Fail to nurture important life skills
So let's get down and dirty with our children, even if it's messy, takes forever, or isn't perfect. You'll be setting your child up for serious (future) success!
Read: 10 things that are NOT your job as a Mother